1. Coping with vertigo
Becoming aware that one is being subjected to domestic violence can leave one with a feeling of abysmal dizziness, facing countless questions, each more distressing than the last, especially if the person has children or is in a vulnerable financial or administrative situation (residence permit, visa, etc.).
2. See the consequences
Awareness is far from easy.
Whether or not you agree to acknowledge that you have been a victim does not change the damage, the consequences of domestic violence. They are there, some visible, some invisible.
3. Imagine
Imagine you are a mother or a nanny looking after a child. A child has just fallen in the rocks and hurt his knee and it is bleeding. In this case you would not hesitate to clean the wound with alcohol and mercurochrome (and other antiseptic), would you?
The same applies to treating the consequences of domestic violence.
4. Observe the situation
In a situation of domestic violence, there is an interaction with others.
Someone else has committed violence against you. And you stay with someone else. Because others are not just anyone. They say they 'love' you.
For a while, you believe it and you get over the initial violence. It's not only the love he claims to have for you, but also everything you want to build with others that is at stake, a couple, a family, a cocoon, something reassuring, you are keen on it and it's quite understandable.
You tell yourself that you have "misunderstood", or that "it will pass", or that he "will understand", or that he "will change", etc.
At the same time, you tell yourself that you "love him" so you will "make an effort" and there will be no more violence.
5. Stopping the cycle of violence
But the violence is not going to stop, it's going to get worse. If you have children, it's when someone else - their father or stepfather - comes after them that it's going to be too much.
And you will find a lawyer, a doctor, an association, support.
We are here for you, when you are ready.
Trust yourself, listen to your little inner voice that tells you "no, this, this behaviour, this is not normal", and go further and say to yourself "I don't want to live in these conditions", and go even further and: protect yourself. If you need professionals, we are here.
I know it's not easy. Cou-Rage.
